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Premature Ejaculation

Definition
The definition of exactly what constitutes cumming too soon has not been clearly agreed upon, but given that the average length of intercourse is said to be 7-10 minutes, (which I would consider as defining a "quickie"), anything under this length is probably premature.

A better definition might be orgasming sooner than you want to.
Masters & Johnson did research on sexuality that led them to announce that there were 4 stages of sexual response, both in the male and female:


Clearly someone who cums after a few thrusts is skipping steps, or at the very least shortening them.

I believe that there are two points in the sexual response cycle where men can be vulnerable to this.

The first, though more rare is during the arousal phase. If the man is very tense, full arousal does not occur properly, there is some arousal, but the tension and the erotic stimulation are fighting to be in the foreground of his consciousness. A symptom of this would be a man who normally has healthy erections, finding he ejaculates before even getting fully erect.

The second, and more usual point in the cycle, is during the plateau phase. In this case, instead of slowly progressing through higher and higher levels of arousal, the sufferer jumps quickly to the end of the plateau phase and arrives at orgasm. Again tension can be playing a part here, but for the most part, it can be considered as a failure to monitor his arousal level closely enough.

I say this because, with simple training, it is easy for many men with this type of response to learn to monitor arousal, and slow down the build-up.

Another point often overlooked in the literature, is that for a lot of men orgasm is the goal of sex. So there is a subconscious rush to get to the reward at the end of the sexual encounter. By gradually re-training himself to enjoy the journey as much as the destination, a huge change in his sexuality can be brought about.

Exercises for improving Premature Ejaculation.

My version of the peaking exercise.
Here is an exercise that can help to open up the amount of pleasure and excitement that can be enjoyed without triggering orgasm until it is wanted. First, get yourself aroused, with gentle stimulation, do this for 5 minutes try not to get too steamed up, just moderately aroused.

For the next 20-25 minutes, use varying amounts of stimulation to take yourself up and down the arousal scale - some people suggest numbering the levels 1 - 10, and attempting to deliberately transit through each level - but this may or may not suit you.

The main thing is to try to slowly move up and down the scale. If arousal keeps climbing or gets stuck, just take your hand off and wait for it to subside. Then continue.

On the last 'up phase', go up through level 10 and on to ejaculation.

Here is a tip - when people panic they hold their breath, but breathing slow and heavy can really help reduce panic, and in the same way, arousal level. Try making an 'O' shape with your mouth. (say the word 'you' aloud, and notice the shape of your lips at the end of the last syllable).

When you want to come down a level, blow air through your mouth in this shape - you will be amazed at the effect - it's like letting air out of your tyres.

I believe just practising this exercise will create new neural pathways which will allow the same level of control to manifest during sex with a partner.

Ejaculation Training with a partner.
At one time, I could not last long enough for my wife to cum, and although it was always possible to take care of her afterwards, I wanted to be able to choose when I came.

I did not do any 'solo' exercises for this. I simply started slowing down near the point of cumming, and sometimes, I would pull out until just the head was in, or if I was really close, I would pull out altogether.

My wife did not enjoy this too much until I explained to her that it was the only way I was going to be able learn to outlast her. What used to happen in the past was, as she would get to within 30 seconds of orgasm, I would start to worry that I would not last long enough, and that 'performance anxiety' would be enough to trigger my ejaculation. Nearing her orgasm, she did not like me to slow down or break the rhythm, so I felt trapped.

What gradually happened was that I became more and more sensitive to when I was about to cum, and I was able to slow the pace well before pulling out was needed. Also I found that I did not even need to slow down. Just a subtle shift in position is often enough. Or breathing hard, panting like a woman in labour. After a while, all these micro-movements became automatic.

If I could go back in time, I would have got her on my side and said, let's work on this together. But to be honest, I was just fumbling in the dark, and gradually found my way.

So if you are a man who wants to try this, get your partner to agree to help with your training and it will be easy. It's all about becoming more concious of your arousal level, so that you have time to react before it's too late to stop ejaculation.

© MT

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